Boundaries: Saying Yes to Yourself
“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.” – Brené Brown
Have you ever felt overwhelmed, drained, or stretched too thin? If so, you’re not alone. Many of us struggle with setting boundaries, fearing that saying “no” means disappointing others. But the truth is, boundaries are not about rejection—it’s about self-respect, clarity, and balance.
Sacrificing ourselves while failing to satisfy our needs puts our well-being at risk. Do yourself a favor; love and care for yourself before extending to others. That way, you show up fully and unapologetically you!
Why Boundaries Matter
Boundaries are the invisible lines that define what is acceptable and what is not in our lives. They help us:
✔ Protect our time and energy
✔ Improve our mental and emotional well-being
✔ Build healthier relationships
✔ Reduce stress and burnout
✔ Gain a stronger sense of self-worth
Saying Yes to Yourself by Saying No to Others
When you set a boundary, you are saying” yes” to yourself. You are acknowledging your needs, your priorities, and your well-being. This isn’t selfish—it’s essential. Here’s how you can start:
✔ Saying” no” to overcommitting means saying “yes” to peace of mind.
I commit to not taking on any new projects until I complete the ones already on my plate, relieving the overwhelm and replacing it with equanimity.
✔ Saying “no” to toxic relationships means saying “yes” to healthy connections.
Bowing out to nonsense while protecting our sanity, we show up as our resilient and purposeful selves.
✔ Saying “no” to working late every night means saying “yes” to family and rest.
Saying no to a job I no longer find enjoyable, I can spend my time on things that matter most, such as writing and building my coaching practice, creating more pleasurable days and restful nights!
✔ Saying “no” to unrealistic expectations means saying “yes” to self-compassion.
By keeping it real with ourselves, we can extend the same courtesy to others, instrumental in building genuine connections.
✔ Saying “no” to constant distractions means saying “yes” to focus and productivity.
I am unapologetic about how I feel and what I want because if I don’t go after it, it won’t miraculously appear without hard work and dedication.
How to Set and Communicate Boundaries
1. Identify Your Limits – Take a moment to recognize what drains you versus what energizes you. Pay attention to when you feel resentful or overextended—that’s often a sign of weak boundaries.
2. Communicate Clearly – Express your boundaries with confidence and kindness. Say what you mean and mean what you say. For example, instead of saying, “I guess I can help,” try, “I’m unable to take that on right now.”
3. Release the Guilt – Boundaries do not make you a bad person. They make you a strong, self-aware individual who values your well-being. Remind yourself that you cannot pour from an empty cup.
4. Practice Saying No – Saying no is a muscle that strengthens over time. If saying “no” feels difficult, try: “I appreciate the offer, but I can’t commit to that right now.”
Notable Books on Setting Boundaries
1. Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself – Nedra Glover Tawwab
2. Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life – Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend
3. Where to Draw the Line: How to Set Healthy Boundaries Every Day – Anne Katherine
Relevant Statistics on Boundaries
Research highlights the importance of setting personal boundaries:
- A survey found that while only 14% of individuals find it easy to set boundaries, many still struggle with this essential skill (Thriving Center of Psychology, n.d.).
- In romantic relationships, 57% of Americans believe it’s crucial to establish personal boundaries, yet only 40% feel very comfortable doing so (YouGov, 2022).
"Compassionate people ask for what they need. They say no when they need to, and when they say yes, they mean it." – Brené Brown
A Challenge for You
This week, I encourage you to reflect on one area where you need stronger boundaries. Whether it’s work, friendships, or personal commitments, take one small step toward saying “yes” to yourself.
You deserve a life that is balanced, fulfilling, and aligned with your values, and it all starts with the power of “boundaries.”
Wishing you confidence and clarity,
Strong reminder of what I am avoiding. I have a most unpleasant job situation, I'm staying just for the income that it provides. Its not much but its consistent. I quitted 3 times but took back my decision from fear of staying unemployed.
I wish to do what you recomend: focus more on writing and building new healthy relationships.
Thank you Margaret
Brilliant reminder Margaret, thank you so much. It's so blooming important to be aligned energetically with ourselves and our own happiness and I believe having boundaries is one way to achieve it. Love this article❤️🙏✨