I spent years believing compassion meant absorbing everything quietly — smoothing over conflict, understanding everyone else’s pain first, carrying emotional weight that was never really mine to carry. Especially as women, I think many of us were taught that being “good” meant being endlessly accommodating.
What struck me most in your piece was the idea that compassion without boundaries slowly turns into self-erasure.
That line about compassion being handed to people “like a leash” hit hard.
The older I get, the more I realize healthy compassion has to include ourselves or eventually there’s nothing left to give anyone else. Boundaries are not cruelty. Rest is not selfishness. And understanding someone does not obligate us to keep volunteering as the landing place for their damage.
This piece felt like permission for a lot of people to finally exhale a little.
Sis, this one had me crying through most of your teaching. God knew I needed this. I “let go” of some love ones, to show compassion to myself. I felt so fatigued! As if laying down years of caretaking allowed me to feel how exhausted I was. The exhaustion that comes from carrying burdens that are not mine to carry. I have to keep giving permission to myself to just rest. Thank you sis. 💜
Reading this felt deeply familiar to me.
I spent years believing compassion meant absorbing everything quietly — smoothing over conflict, understanding everyone else’s pain first, carrying emotional weight that was never really mine to carry. Especially as women, I think many of us were taught that being “good” meant being endlessly accommodating.
What struck me most in your piece was the idea that compassion without boundaries slowly turns into self-erasure.
That line about compassion being handed to people “like a leash” hit hard.
The older I get, the more I realize healthy compassion has to include ourselves or eventually there’s nothing left to give anyone else. Boundaries are not cruelty. Rest is not selfishness. And understanding someone does not obligate us to keep volunteering as the landing place for their damage.
This piece felt like permission for a lot of people to finally exhale a little.
Beautifully written, Margaret.
Sis, this one had me crying through most of your teaching. God knew I needed this. I “let go” of some love ones, to show compassion to myself. I felt so fatigued! As if laying down years of caretaking allowed me to feel how exhausted I was. The exhaustion that comes from carrying burdens that are not mine to carry. I have to keep giving permission to myself to just rest. Thank you sis. 💜
You deserve all that life has to offer and more. You got this❤️🔥you are welcome. We will never give up.